21 December 2014

That's My Sister

When I was little, I loved my sister and brother very much. When my youngest sister joined us (and I was 17), I loved her also. One thing I learned though was that as much as I loved them, they hated me. They told people that they were not related to me. In one instance, one of my sisters pulled a knife on me and threatened to kill me. I spent a lot of time away and hiding after that. I was always so proud of my sisters and brother. I loved having them, but they did not reciprocate. To this day, one sister has informed me she wishes I was dead. Interesting that at this point, I just don't care and can really enjoy the thought of cutting her out of my life. She doesn't want me and I don't need her. So I have adhered to her wish, I am dead to her, but by the same token, she is also dead to my family (my children and husband). Because without me, she would only have 2 nieces. Without me, she would not have 2 brothers-in-law, only one.

I am hoping that I am doing better with my girls. I don't want them to ever say to a sister, I hate you and I wish you were dead. Or I hate you and I am going to kill you. Both of those things have shaped my feelings towards my sisters. I don't deny them, but I also don't really trust them.

I can remember when my girls were little, they didn't have a lot of interaction with my family. Part of it was they wouldn't come up to where I lived. Part of it was when they did come up, they didn't come by to see us. When the girls were younger, we tended to stay closer to home, it was hard to go places with them because there were three of them and one of me. After so many years of being on our own, we don't wait for people to visit and we go where we want, when we want and we don't tell anyone where we are going or if we are even going to be in their area. But my girls are different. They talk to each other. They laugh with each other and they share secrets with each other. They are tight. They love each other. They may fight a little here or there, but they get along very well. They stand together and they show a united front. I feel for anyone who tries to break them apart. They are going to find a united front. A group of girls who love and are loved.

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