07 July 2015

Suicide is NOT Painless!

Recently, my cousin's son killed himself following bullying. Today, a friend is dealing with the loss of a friend of his, who survived tours in Afghanistan and then killed himself. Inevitably, there are the questions of why did they do this? Why did he/she kill him or herself? There are no real answers. All I know is that when a person is suicidal they are unable to see the next minute, the next hour, the next day, week or month. They cannot see the future. They may be out of pain, but the pain is just starting for the survivors.

In my case, I am asking, given how little support I received from my family or the teachers at the schools I attended, How did I survive? How did I not kill myself after all the bullying I have gone through? I spent years being called names, hit, pushed down stairs, and being told, I could not fight back. I should turn the other cheek. Years of being told how I am unwanted and unloved. Years of being told that I do not matter and then treated that way. To this day, I wonder how I survived all this abuse, bullying.

When my oldest began to show depression following bullying, I pulled her out of the school and brought her home. That helped her. She knows she is important and loved. Her mood improved and she became a happier person. I feel bad for my cousin and his family as they too deal with this loss. I wish that I was able to provide more for them beyond my prayers, but that is what I offer to them.

Please pray for all those affected by the loss of someone they loved or cared for. They are dealing with a lot of pain.

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